It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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