I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
