nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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