I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize