His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
