so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize