what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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