Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
