Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
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Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
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Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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