I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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