Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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