Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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