take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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