I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
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