i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
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i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
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He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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