And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
