I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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