why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
