White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
