fuck your aforementioned shoe
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
