Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
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You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
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I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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