Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
