I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
