U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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