; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
