I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
