he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
