Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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