And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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