you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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