dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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