You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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