I'm gonna have a badass scar
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
