I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
