I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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