Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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