so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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