now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
