Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
