You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
