he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
