If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
