Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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