I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
