I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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