just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
