Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize