yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
