the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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