Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
