We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
