i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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