Kiss
Puke
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize