So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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