Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
