I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
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He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
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How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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