she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
