So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
